I’m young. I’m naive. I’m not all that mature. I don’t know much. But, the one thing that I do know is that I’m madly in love with my boyfriend, Omar. I don’t even feel like ‘boyfriend’ is a fitting word. He means so much more to me. He is so much MORE than just a boyfriend to me. He’s my life. My soul. My whole entire world. He sings silly songs for me when I cry. He tells me silly jokes when I’m delusion tired. He’s my best friend in the whole wide world.
If I didn’t have him; what would I have? Yeah, I’d still have my family, friends, pets, school maybe. But my happiness would be gone. I don’t care what I have to sacrifice in order to be with him. None of that matters because all I need is him. This is something I’m sure of.
He puts up with my bullshit. He listens to me scream, cry, and everything else. He puts up with my temper tantrums and crying fits. He gets me through my anxiety and panic attacks. Without him, I’d be lose. He makes life tolerable. He makes it worth living. He’s my sunshine, my happiness, my laughter, my soul mate.
I’m the most impatient person in the world but when it comes to him, I have the most patience I’ve ever had. I’m a bitch but with him, I just always want to be nice. He’s the better half of me. He makes me a better person and he brings out the best in me. I want to marry him. I want his last name. I want to have kids with him. Get a cute small house and paint the walls together. I want to make him dinner every night then cuddle on the couch and watch movies. The love I have for him is so infinite, never ending, and unconditional. I would brush his teeth for him if he asked. I would hand wash his dirty socks if that was what he preferred. I would do it all. Because anything is worth even just a simple smile from his handsome face.
He stands up for me when someone hurts my feelings. He gives me constructive criticism when I’m wrong about something. He calls me to say goodnight and answers the phone when I call to say good morning. He calls me pet names and teases me to make me laugh.
This man has had my heart since the day we first started talking. I’ve loved him for a long time and I’ll love him for many, many more years.
Last night when we were on the phone, I was venting about a comment a family member made about me. And how my family has been holding me back from so much. He went on to offer to teach me how to drive, help me get a job. He’s so supportive. He even remembered the smallest thing I told him months ago. When we first started talking, I told him that I would only want to drive if I got a Chrysler 300. Last night we were talking about me moving in, getting a job, and saving money towards a car and he brought up me saving up for a Chrysler 300. The fact that he remembered something like that, so small and meaningless, still means the world to me. He’s the only one that listens, and the only one that cares enough to remember everything. I could ask him what my favorite reality show is and he would be able to tell me. I could ask him the name of my childhood cat and he would remember.
I have this fear that one day, He is just going to be fed up with the problems he goes through with me. I’ve been out of town for family reasons and he has stuck by my side. I’m so grateful for that but I’m beyond frightened that I’m constantly letting him down which is absolutely the last thing I want to do. I want to make him proud, make him happy. I want to live for him, with him, us together forever and always. I just need him to put up with this mess for a few more days. I’m missing his birthday due to family complications. I’m giving him a second birthday once I’m back, I’m just hoping that it will make up for time lost.
This man is not just my boyfriend. He is my role model. The reason I get up in the mornings. I look up to him as a person. He is so driven in his job and in our relationship. He works so hard for the things he has and he deserves the world. He is so humble about things. I adore him. He is my idol and he is a lot of things I wish I was. He is my friend, my companion, my lover, my therapist, my soon to be husband.
I wish we were already engaged so I could refer to him as my fiance, but I know that is soon in my future. I can already see it. I know we will probably get married within the next year. We talk about it so much and I know it isn’t us just being silly and not knowing better. What we have is real. What we have is pure. What will have is true love and nothing could ever tear us apart.
I honestly couldn’t care less about what anybody else says or thinks about him because they don’t know him like I know him. They don’t know him the way I do. I connect with him and I know that he’s the best person in the world in my eyes. We’re going to be one of those rare, but lucky, couples that make it. And nobody could ever stand in the way of that. I’ll love him for a lifetime, and then some. Forever and always.